Nice (sometimes) Gets You Nowhere
Murphy was right when he said, “Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.” The problem is, will the fool ever know that he/she is one?
Last wednesday, January 28, I had the misfortune of being trapped in a futile debate (or should I say, very heated argument) with a person from a government agency (must not mention the name and agency lest I make someone (in)famous inadvertently). Our argument had to do with the formulation of HIV prevention programmes for migrant workers, which is something I have been involved in for the last ten years. And in those ten years of HIV and AIDS activism, of having forged constructive and productive partnerships with various communities and institutions (both private and public, local and international), I never had a face-to-face collision with someone who was incomprehensibly intransigent and obstructive (wait a minute, what am I saying, yes, I have encountered such people, but not in the context of my work). I am not a confrontative person; anger management experts would never earn a single cent from me.
It’s not that I don’t get angry. I do. But I never let it take over me like a malevolent spirit. You know how other people appear to be perennially shrouded by a black cloud (literally) – or a very dark aura – as my esoteric and spiritually-inclined friends would often say. These people often have a dark, unpleasant and obnoxious disposition – like the world is their boxing ring and every person they encounter is a potential adversary or threat.
I will not replay the dialogue (or should I say, wrangle) here, as it still annoys me to no end. I will, in the next coming weeks, find a way to constructively provide feedback and information to the institution where that person works.
Actually, I just wanted to write about this incident to illustrate that finally, and for the first time in my adult life, I can now comprehend the expression, “nagpanting ang tenga”. Literally, I felt intense, burning heat creeping out of my ears. It was a bizarre sensation – like I was Mt. Pinatubo waiting to explode.
Fortunately, there was divine intervention – in the form of my friends and colleagues – who admonished me to keep calm and refrain from indulging that person’s tireless tirades. And so, with eyes rolled and a slight smirk plastered on my face, I muttered under my breath, “Frankly my dear, I didn’t give a damn”. And I did my most casual walk away from that fiend.
Monday, February 2, 2009
RANTS AND GRUNTS 01
From Litterbug to Little bits
I always get nervous when I see someone opening a car window. Is he or she going to spit, throw a candy wrapper, drop a banana peel, or flick a cigarette butt? When and how will people learn that it is so uncool to throw their trash onto the streets? Does EDSA (and other streets) look like an infinite borderless garbage bin? Well, admittedly, some areas do, especially along Pasay and Caloocan. But then again, that doesn’t give anyone any license to further pollute these thoroughfares. And then they complain when the streets get flooded during rainy days – that’s cause it’s clogged with all the litter that they mindlessly dispose of, stupid! Some days, I have this fantasy image of all trash (the ones carelessly thrown) crawling from all directions and converging into what will become a giant litter monster. Then it starts chomping these litterbugs into tiny little bits before tossing them into the non-recyclable bin.
I always get nervous when I see someone opening a car window. Is he or she going to spit, throw a candy wrapper, drop a banana peel, or flick a cigarette butt? When and how will people learn that it is so uncool to throw their trash onto the streets? Does EDSA (and other streets) look like an infinite borderless garbage bin? Well, admittedly, some areas do, especially along Pasay and Caloocan. But then again, that doesn’t give anyone any license to further pollute these thoroughfares. And then they complain when the streets get flooded during rainy days – that’s cause it’s clogged with all the litter that they mindlessly dispose of, stupid! Some days, I have this fantasy image of all trash (the ones carelessly thrown) crawling from all directions and converging into what will become a giant litter monster. Then it starts chomping these litterbugs into tiny little bits before tossing them into the non-recyclable bin.
RAVES AND WAVES 02
You Wanna Obama?
I must admit, I rooted for Hillary and not for Barack. I thought sexual rights, reproductive rights, LGBT rights and all other rights (considered social evils by conservatives and fundamentalists) had a better chance of being addressed if she got elected into power. Besides, Barack was pretty vague about his stand on LGBT rights.
So, he got elected – and the whole world seemed to be elated with the prospect of an African American with an atypical upbringing leading the world’s self-proclaimed most powerful nation.
Well, he did one very good thing after being elected, that is, immediately and quietly reversing the “global gag rule”. His ruling lifts restrictions on U.S. government funding for groups that promote sexual and reproductive health (SRH) and rights, including abortion counseling and services abroad (though many of these groups do not even focus on abortion services but in preventing unwanted pregnancies and abortions through provision of contraception and other health services).
We hope this will augur in a new era of more sustained programming for SRH services in resource-limited countries such as the Philippines. Although, in our case, it’s not so much a question of resources but political will – especially since the Catholic Church has such a stranglehold on our political leaders – whether they’re in the administration or opposition.
So, to all those Obama-wannabes who have their eye on 2010 – I dare challenge you to include sexual and reproductive health and rights in your political agenda. Otherwise, don’t think that you can even come close to the man.
I must admit, I rooted for Hillary and not for Barack. I thought sexual rights, reproductive rights, LGBT rights and all other rights (considered social evils by conservatives and fundamentalists) had a better chance of being addressed if she got elected into power. Besides, Barack was pretty vague about his stand on LGBT rights.
So, he got elected – and the whole world seemed to be elated with the prospect of an African American with an atypical upbringing leading the world’s self-proclaimed most powerful nation.
Well, he did one very good thing after being elected, that is, immediately and quietly reversing the “global gag rule”. His ruling lifts restrictions on U.S. government funding for groups that promote sexual and reproductive health (SRH) and rights, including abortion counseling and services abroad (though many of these groups do not even focus on abortion services but in preventing unwanted pregnancies and abortions through provision of contraception and other health services).
We hope this will augur in a new era of more sustained programming for SRH services in resource-limited countries such as the Philippines. Although, in our case, it’s not so much a question of resources but political will – especially since the Catholic Church has such a stranglehold on our political leaders – whether they’re in the administration or opposition.
So, to all those Obama-wannabes who have their eye on 2010 – I dare challenge you to include sexual and reproductive health and rights in your political agenda. Otherwise, don’t think that you can even come close to the man.
RAVES AND WAVES 01
Wishing Wanggo Well
Being a non-Skycable subscriber, I am rarely able to watch ANC, its local news network. So, while vacationing in my hometown last December (my parents subscribe to Sky), I was pleased to catch an episode of “Storyline”, a documentary show which features snippets of lives of individuals going through personal struggles. One of the stories was that of Wanggo Gallaga, a 29-year old guy, who came out with his HIV+ status. Finally, after many years, here came someone who broke the silence and seeming invisibility of people living with HIV (PLHIVs) in the country. And I mean someone from the mainstream – not from the existing community/network of PLHIVs (as there are courageous people like Joshua, Mau, Bobby and Owie who have come out to the media). Indeed, most people have a vague memory of Sarah Jane Salazar and an even vaguer memory of Dolzura Cortez.
Ever since Wanggo wrote his coming out article in one of the major dailies late last year (which unfortunately I was not able to read), I’ve been hearing about him from friends and colleagues in the local HIV network. I also managed to catch an episode in a Sunday showbiz talkshow, which featured his father, acclaimed film director, Peque Gallaga. Having worked fulltime on HIV and AIDS for the last nine years, I must say that Peque’s supportive and non-judgmental stance towards his son was a breath of fresh air.
Finally, the issue had a fresh face: young, courageous, and articulate. My only concern was Wanggo’s constant reference to a lifestyle that involved “promiscuity”. No, I’m not at all bothered by his “lifestyle” – I think people should have the right to make decisions about their bodies and their sexuality, as long as they are responsible for their actions and they don’t harm anyone. My concern is more the implication of attributing HIV infection with promiscuity (though this may not be his intent – he was probably just being candid about his sexual behavior) because we all know that even a single exposure to the virus can get one infected. Or multiple exposures/sexual contact with only one person, such as a spouse or a regular partner, as in the case of many women in Africa.
I hope Wanggo’s coming out will send a signal to people that what being HIV+ really means is that there is a virus in a person’s body that makes him immuno-compromised and this can be aggravated by various physical and psychological conditions. PLHIVs are no different from you and me; they have human rights and they deserve protection against stigma and discrimination. It’s surprising how ignorant most people are about HIV and AIDS – which is the basis for all the negative and “morally” judgmental attitudes vs. PLHIVs.
I wish Wanggo well –and that he will continue to provide encouragement to those who are still confronting their fears, guilt, pain and feelings of shame.
Being a non-Skycable subscriber, I am rarely able to watch ANC, its local news network. So, while vacationing in my hometown last December (my parents subscribe to Sky), I was pleased to catch an episode of “Storyline”, a documentary show which features snippets of lives of individuals going through personal struggles. One of the stories was that of Wanggo Gallaga, a 29-year old guy, who came out with his HIV+ status. Finally, after many years, here came someone who broke the silence and seeming invisibility of people living with HIV (PLHIVs) in the country. And I mean someone from the mainstream – not from the existing community/network of PLHIVs (as there are courageous people like Joshua, Mau, Bobby and Owie who have come out to the media). Indeed, most people have a vague memory of Sarah Jane Salazar and an even vaguer memory of Dolzura Cortez.
Ever since Wanggo wrote his coming out article in one of the major dailies late last year (which unfortunately I was not able to read), I’ve been hearing about him from friends and colleagues in the local HIV network. I also managed to catch an episode in a Sunday showbiz talkshow, which featured his father, acclaimed film director, Peque Gallaga. Having worked fulltime on HIV and AIDS for the last nine years, I must say that Peque’s supportive and non-judgmental stance towards his son was a breath of fresh air.
Finally, the issue had a fresh face: young, courageous, and articulate. My only concern was Wanggo’s constant reference to a lifestyle that involved “promiscuity”. No, I’m not at all bothered by his “lifestyle” – I think people should have the right to make decisions about their bodies and their sexuality, as long as they are responsible for their actions and they don’t harm anyone. My concern is more the implication of attributing HIV infection with promiscuity (though this may not be his intent – he was probably just being candid about his sexual behavior) because we all know that even a single exposure to the virus can get one infected. Or multiple exposures/sexual contact with only one person, such as a spouse or a regular partner, as in the case of many women in Africa.
I hope Wanggo’s coming out will send a signal to people that what being HIV+ really means is that there is a virus in a person’s body that makes him immuno-compromised and this can be aggravated by various physical and psychological conditions. PLHIVs are no different from you and me; they have human rights and they deserve protection against stigma and discrimination. It’s surprising how ignorant most people are about HIV and AIDS – which is the basis for all the negative and “morally” judgmental attitudes vs. PLHIVs.
I wish Wanggo well –and that he will continue to provide encouragement to those who are still confronting their fears, guilt, pain and feelings of shame.
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